Love One Another

At the beginning of this year, one of my new years resolution goals was that I was going to try to not be so quick to judge others and that I would try harder to be a friend to everyone (which my patr.- blessing says that I will be a friend to everyone, so I figured this was something important for me to do:) now this hasn't always been easy for me to do and I am afraid that I have failed at this thus far, but this year I decided "I am going to be better"!!

This has been a very hard thing to do sometimes and has required lots of prayers and studying to help me overcome this. I found a good 1972 ensign (for those friends who are not members of our church this is a church magazine that is printed monthly) article by President Eldon N. Tanner entitled "Judge Not, That Ye Be Not Judged". There are a few things I want to copy and paste because he says it best.

"The other day, as I overhead one neighbor criticizing another, I was reminded of these lines":

“Wouldn’t this old world be better
If the folks we meet would say:
‘I know something good about you,’
And then treat us that way?”


Then I thought of the words of one of our hymns:

“Let each man learn to know himself;
To gain that knowledge let him labor,
Improve those failings in himself
Which he condemns so in his neighbor.
How lenient our own faults we view,
And conscience’s voice adeptly smother;
Yet, oh, how harshly we review
The selfsame failings in another! …
So first improve yourself today
And then improve your friends tomorrow.”
—Hymns, no. 91


"When we try to judge people, which we should not do, we have a great tendency to look for and take pride in finding weaknesses and faults, such as vanity, dishonesty, immorality, and intrigue. As a result, we see only the worst side of those being judged.
Let us look for the good rather than try to discover any hidden evil. We can easily find fault in others if that is what we are looking for.
Let us remember too that the further out of line or out of tune we ourselves are, the more we are inclined to look for error or weaknesses in others and to try to rationalize and justify our own faults rather than to try to improve ourselves. Almost invariably, we find that the greatest criticism of Church leaders and doctrine comes from those who are not doing their full duty, following the leaders, or living according to the teachings of the gospel."

Now I know this is all easier said than done, and is a daily struggle for most (including myself). In my own experience, I have sometimes lost friends or have had people treat me differently because I am reaching out to others who they may not approve of or fit in their kind of group. I know I have found my own self thinking something with the intent of being harmless (or maybe even at times on purpose) but really was judging someone else that was not my place to. I will still continue to be at fault I am sure, but I know that with the lords help we can overcome the adversary and reach out to those who are struggling in one way or the other. Christ loved everyone, even those who hated him, whipped him, spat on him and crucified him, what greater love is there to show our fellow man than the pure love of christ! I know I am not perfect and this isn't about who can have the most friends or be the most popular. I just made a goal, that I was going to be more Christ-like towards others and serve one another regardless of what the consequences might be. Everyone is at different stages in life and all have different experiences, and although there may be things we don't agree with and can choose to not go along with something that may not be right,but we can still reach out to others and help raise them up and set the example that Christ would want us to do. I am so thankful for my friends and family for all of the help you give to me in my life and for those great examples that you all set for my family.
Love to you all!

Natilie's first soccer game

Sat. was Natilies first soccer game of the season. She has played something different the last few years trying to get a feel for what sport she likes the most and has decided its soccer and softball. This year she is going with soccer. The last time she played she was about 6 years old, and seeing her out there in the freezing cold rainy weather running and kicking, she has still got the stuff! They won their first game. Daniel started baseball this last week too but hasn't had a game yet. We are so thrilled that our kids love to play sports since Josh and I are sports nuts! Let the craziness begin with dragging the 3 little ones to every game/practice 5 days a week! :)

Bullying/Choking others is not ok!

So for some reason in this picture the flash made things look a little off, and it looks a little worse in person, but this is why I was VERY VERY UPSET today (in case some of you saw my facebook post) For some reason out of my kids Justin and Natilie have and are the targets for bullying, we have been dealing with this kind of stuff for a while. Even with our Justin who is a 60 pound 3 year old is the target ALL of the time from younger kids, older kids, smaller kids, bigger kids and complete strangers in public places! No joke, its like these types of kids are just drawn to Justin and feel the need to hit, punch, kick or push him (which all have been done just randomly out of the blue in public) SO today was my last final breaking straw. Daniel and Natilie got off of the bus and came in the door and Natilie said "mom guess what happened to me today" and was upset about it. I said "what" she lifted her hair and showed me her neck and said some girl in her class tried to choke her and these were the marks from her fingers. Here is the story of what happened. Evidently girl-A (who did the choking) was mad at some other girl, we will call her girl-B, so the girl-B came to Natilie and asked natilie if girl-A was mad at her and Natilie said yes- the girl said she was. Then Girl-A came to Natilie and said "why did you tell her that" and Natilie said "because I didn't want to lie that's what you said" So that girl took her one hand with her thumb on one side of Natilies throat and her fingers on the other side with the intent of trying to choke her. Another girl (it was recess time) helped Natilie push her off and then was sent to the asst. principal/and the nurse who gave Natilie an ice pack, but no one called me. So after we took a picture of her neck, Josh told me to tell them if they didn't deal with this matter we would be filing a police report (not that this does much good but at least it would be documented). So I called and talked to the asst. principal who reassured me the matter was going to be dealt with on Monday and she is looking into it further with other witnesses etc and because there was physical contact there would be a punishment....My tolerance for bully's is DONE! I am sick and tired of people thinking they have a right to physically cause harm to other people! Natilie has never been in trouble at school or physical with anyone (besides her brother) but they always seem to target her as well and all of her teachers are always telling me what a good girl she is and that she is one of the sweetest girls who is always nice to others and willing to help, so I know its just not my kid being a punk all of the time. It just makes me want to scream to the world "PEOPLE ITS NOT OK TO GO AROUND BEATING PEOPLE UP OR CHOKING THEM OR TEACHING YOUR KIDS THAT ITS ALRIGHT TO DO AS WELL!" (although I can understand if it was a self defense type of situation) It is just getting ridiculous that this type of stuff can happen anywhere regardless of where you live or how good the schools are. I am glad this day is over!

CAKE

Tonight we went to Daniel's boy scout spaghetti dinner fundraiser and cake auction they had at church. All of the proceeds go to help pay for the boys summer camp fees. Each scout was supposed to bring a cake to auction off, so I wanted to make Daniels cake nice with hopes to make a little more money to benefit the boys. It was super fun to make and Bro. Davis said it was the best decorated cake there :) It went for $32 which was great! I am starting to become a little addicted with making cakes! Now I gotta start thinking of what to do for Delaney's first birthday cake in June :)

Random Happenings

In December Groupon was doing a deal for an Akron Zoo Family pass for around $30 (or somewhere close to that I can't remember the exact price) but it was a deal and usually in the summer we never have money to do anything, so I thought this was a total score since both boys LOVE animals. We went to activate it one Sat. morning, we only stayed about an hour but the boys loved it although Wade was getting really really mad because he kept trying to crawl through the glass so that he could be in there with the animals :)

I love this picture of our boys backsides, such cute brothers :)

After we went to the zoo we did a mini birthday party for the family in Ohio (since we were in Utah for Wades actual birthday) we just had some cake and presents.

Daniel and Natilie had their big Bands in the Rounds concert (or something along those lines, cant remember the exact title) they did great and love band and have an awesome instructor, this was Natilies first "real" concert for 5th grade. We are so proud of Daniel and Natilie with how they excel and try so hard with band and their sports :)

My hubby

So I have been totally lacking in the blog department lately and seriously need to get motivated to post more, I do have random pictures of our happenings lately but I get so frustrated everytime I try to post them to blogger it takes like a 100 years before the upload is complete. But I will do that soon I promise. In the mean time, I just wanted to paste my husbands letter on our blog. My sister in law Cindy is composing a memory book of "dear Jeff" letters for their family, I asked Josh if he had done one yet and he said he hadn't. So last night he was up late writing one. When I read it this morning, I was reading it while I was power walking pushing wade and delaney in the stroller at the mall and was leaned over my handle reading on my phone while still pushing and was just crying (everyone probably thought I was nuts) but I was amazed at Josh's sweet letter. Anyone who knows Josh knows that he is not a crier, isn't the best at paying compliments and doesn't show emotion that much. After dealing with his brother's loss I have seen a change in him, he still has his sarcastic humor, but he has been more sensitive and sweet in our marriage, family and things going on around us. I am so very thankful for a wonderful husband and love him so much and am grateful for all the sacrifices he makes for our family and for being an amazing daddy, and for his family in raising such wonderful kids. Below is Josh's "Dear Jeff" letter. It is lengthy but its worth the read :)



Dear Jeff, Writing you a letter now just reminds me of what I already know but sometime choose to temporarily forget, that you're gone. I feel grateful for my knowledge of our Heavenly Father's plan of salvation so that I know that you're not gone gone but only gone in a physical sense. That knowledge doesn't make your passing easy to swallow but it does give me some peace that I wouldn't otherwise have. With that being said, let me start from the beginning. Ever since I can remember I have always looked up to you and it wasn't always because of your physical size. Although I remember James, Jeremy, and I wrestling with you when we were younger and the three of us were no match for you in a wrestling match, we could never even get close to turning you over. During your last week you reminded me of that memory and how you didn't think you could take just one of us now in your weakened state. After you had passed and I was struggling trying to help the funeral home people move you I was thinking to myself, "yeah right" to your earlier comment. I was also perplexed that the funeral home only sent two scrawny guys to come get you, didn't they know they would need two guys just to carry your big heart. Sorry, I said I would start at the beginning and jumped to the end. One of your big contributions to me growing up was your love of sports. I think I enjoyed participating in a lot of sports because I saw you participating and excelling. Even now I get great joy over playing and watching sports, I owe that mostly to you. I was always the skinny kid growing up but I don't remember getting teased about it very much because I could always compete well in sports with the "jocks." Or it may have been that everyone knew you were my older brother and they didn't dare mess with and Anderson. I am going to keep telling myself it was because of my athletic abilities but who am I kidding. I remember being a 110 pound sophmore in highschool taking a weightlifting class. The football head coach "taught" (by teaching I mean sitting at a desk drinking coffee) the class and told everyone that the Jeff Anderson listed on the wall for heaviest bench press in school history was my brother. I gained a lot of respect that day from the other students without having to do anything but be your brother. I didn't mind being known as "Jeff's brother", there was a sense of pride in that designation plus it was a break from being known as "Jeremy's brother" for a little while. One of the things I admired most about you was your decision to serve a mission when football prospects were looking promising. I always admired the athletes that are willing to put their athletic lives on hold to do what is right. Because you served a mission, serving one myself was almost a no brainer. I remember one time after your mission you invited Jeremy and I to come stay with you for a week in St. George. I remember feeling so cool getting to hang out with you and your roommates. I appreciated that experience a lot. I also admired your decision to marry in the temple to the right kind of person. I remember you telling me before you got married that Cindy was a good girl who had a strong testimony that you could take to the temple and would make an awesome mother to your future children. Those were some of the same characteristics I looked for when I was looking for someone to marry. We didn't marry into money, like you told me to do, but we definitely married in to wealth of an eternal nature. Jeff, I always felt as if you were a second dad to me even though you were my brother. Just like our dad, you made sure our family was taken care of. I always felt that if you were around that everything would be taken care of and everything would be ok. Family was always tops on your priority list and it showed by how you treated me. You were always so giving with whatever you had. I was always amazed that you would entrust me to use some of your "toys" when you knew that if I were to break something I didn't have a way of paying for repair or replacement. You didn't care though, people were always priority over "stuff." You can't take your physical possessions with you when you pass, although I would be a little disappointed if a part of Moab doesn't make it into heaven with me when I die, where else are we going to ride? I guess I'll fast forward to your last week of life. When you had called me the week before we came to visit you from Ohio I was in total shock. I was expecting good news that everything would be ok and you had beat this cancer. When you started to break down before telling me anything, I already knew what you were going to say. You told me you would like us to visit sometime in the next month so that you could see us before you passed. My wife and I were discussing when to go and I thought it would be best to go two weeks later due to some work concerns over a new project I was starting. At this time I fully expected you to be around for a while longer but I didn't want to risk not seeing you either. You were still planning on going to MD Andersen in Texas for treatment and we found out Cindy had made an appointment for the week we would have come for a visit. We decided that we should just come that same weekend. I made arrangments at work and Jennifer got going on the preparations to take 5 kids in a van for 30 hours straight of driving. It didn't seem like much of a sacrifice for us to see you, I told you we would have made the trip to see you for just 10 minutes if that's what it took. Prior to us leaving for Utah you had sent me a text message saying how you felt bad for me because I had an autistic son and that you were praying for my family. You told me that you would much rather have something be wrong with you than one of your kids. I was really impressed that someone like you who was dying of cancer was praying for my family. When we arrived in Utah I was glad to be surrounded by our great family. Whenever you were around there was always a lot of emotion and tears. I could tell how much you were loved by all of us. I tried to do my best to recount the good times as I wanted your last span of time on this earth to be as enjoyable as possible. I found myself holding back tears on numerous occasions those first few days, later in the week I didn't bother trying to hold back because it was too hard. You had an appoinment with Elder Holland that week where you were to be given a blessing and we all had hoped that an appostle of the Lord would be able to help extend your time with us on the earth. Elder Holland was sick that day and had to cancel the appointment. That night we were all gathered at your house and you asked me to give you a blessing. I was feeling the pressure of trying to play back up to an apostle. As I layed my hands on your head and started the blessing I had no idea what I was going to say other than I wanted so badly to say "be healed." The spirit just wouldn't confirm that for me as much as my heart pleaded for that prompting. I blessed you with peace and comfort, I blessed you that you would be able to find relief from your symptoms. I think I should have clarified to you that passing away wasn't what I intended when I wanted you to have relief. I did notice that your last few days you had obtained inner peace and had accepted your fate much more graciously than the rest of us. I did learn a great lesson from that blessing I gave you though. After I had finished I heard my dad say that it's the same priesthood authority whether you are an apostle or a brother. During priesthood session of conference President Ucthdorf talked about living below our privilege when it comes to the priesthood. I don't think we understand the power that we have been given to act in His name. I want to close by saying how much I love you and was grateful for every moment we were able to share in this life. This life is but a chapter in an eternal book so I will not say "The End" or even "good bye" but "see you soon" (and when I say soon I mean soon in an eternal sense, just to clarify this time) love, your brother forever, Josh

My sister in laws sweet blog post: Dear Jeff

Hi everyone, we have had numerous friends ask us almost every day how Josh's family is doing with the loss of his brother and my sister in law Cindy who is Jeff's wife posted this blog post last night that is just amazing and thought you would be interested in reading it and she gave me the approval to share. At Jeff's funeral she had boxes set up all around for people to write a letter to Jeff and put it in the box, so that the kids and Cindy would have it to read the memories that others had of Jeff. This last post is Cindy's letter to Jeff that she put in the box and it is amazing to read, grab a kleenex!! I can't figure out how to put the link in so that you can just click on it, so until I do figure it out, just copy and paste this into your browser and it will take you there, it is not a private blog http://itsacyn.blogspot.com/2011/03/dear-jeff.html

LAST DAYS WITH JEFF/ 2 WEEKS IN UTAH

This picture is Josh with his brother Jeff and I. As a lot of you know we got a phone call a few weeks ago from Jeff saying that the cancer had spread to his liver, lungs and pancreas despite the chemo and radiation that he just finished and he wanted to see us within the next month. At first Josh thought we would go towards the end of the month, but I felt the spirit so strongly that we needed to leave ASAP, after talking to Jeff's wife about when the best time was to come, we decided to leave that week. We drove straight through with all 5 kids crammed pack in our little mini van with 3 kids sick and 2 kids on antibiotics. It was adventure but we were so happy when we finally got to Utah. The first day we saw Jeff he looked bad but could still walk slowly short distances. He said to me walking up the steps I was always the biggest and strongest and now I can barely make it up these stairs which sent me into a flood of tears (and I stayed in a flood of tears every minute we were with him, he had so many words of wisdom for everyone that were all so true). We visited with Jeff everyday because we didn't know when it could be his last. In our minds we thought he would make it a few months and boy were we wrong. He deterioated so rapidally in that week we were there and on Friday as we left their house, I kissed him on the cheek (I guess I should say that it was just a little peck becuase he was laying on his side on the hospital bed and was too weak to move to try to hug just so you dont think I was wierd ;) and Josh told him we loved him and left there feeling a greater sense of sadness and knew he wasn't going to make it another day. I tried to talk Josh into staying until Sunday, because of the feeling I had, and he wanted to stay too but was worried about a project at work that was going on so he said we needed to leave early Sat. morning. He told Jeff and Cindy (his wife) that we would be by their house (which is on the same street as joshs parents) around 7 am to say goodbye before getting on the road. Josh woke me up early but I just couldn't get moving, so we got out of bed late, we ate and just hugged his parents and sister and said our goodbyes when Cindy called on the phone and couldnt' talk, we all flew out the door drove a few houses down, rushed in and found that Jeff passed away minutes before we got there. It was so heart wrenching to see, we all sobbed and hugged him, we got to spend the next hour and a half as a big family gathered together in their home with Jeff before they took him away. I have been to funerals before after the fact, but I have never experienced in my life first hand being with somone so sick and watching them slip away, it is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. He was a larger than life person who was so generous in always helping others and he loved his family so very much. That last week he told us and everyone else, that he would trade anything, all of his worldly possesions just to be alive and healthy with his family, that the only thing that matters is FAMILY AND FAITH/ OUR RELATIONSHIPS! This man was such a hero to many, he was so loved by all, that was the biggest funeral I have ever been to, he performed much missionary work in his last days and touched so many peoples lives, he never gave up regardless of how much pain he was in or how hard it was to breath, he kept making memories with his family, visited with so many people and got everything in order for what he was leaving behind. His example will live on forever in my heart, whenever I think something is hard or I can't do it, all I have to do is think of Jeff (and of course our brother Jesus Christs example because he suffered all for each one of us) and how he kept pushing himself along until his last breath (literally), and that makes me want to try harder and helps me to recognize how many blessings I truly do have. I saw so many little miracles and felt the spirit so strongly these last 2 weeks in Utah, it was such a testimony builder of the truthfulness of the gospel, eternal families and how short lived this time on Earth can be. My one friend in the Wadsworth ward played football with Jeff back in highschool and he said his memories of Jeff were his hard hits because he was such a huge guy and that he can still feel those hits he took, he also said that it goes to show you how fragile and temporary this life really is, that Jeff was always the biggest and strongest guy around and that something like this can really happen to anyone of us, so hold close to your hearts the ones you love and the gospel of Jesus Christ. This experience has helped our own family, marriage, testimony and faith grow stronger and Jeff will always be in our hearts and we WILL see him again oneday!!

These next pictures were taken 3 days before he passes away

All of the brothers, Josh, James, Jeff, and Jeremy

All of the siblings, Josh, james, Jeff, Jeremy, Tiffany and Traci

Jeff's beautiful family, his wife Cindy and 4 kids, Courtney, Brooke, Jake and Gage

Jeff with gage snuggled into him and his grandma phylis

Jeff with his sweet mom Sally

At the Larkin Cemetary in Sandy. Josh's parents lost a son when he was about 2 1/2 months old. So they had Stephan dug up and brought to the cemetary where Jeff was being buried to have them buried together. Now Jeff and Stephan are hand in hand performing much work on the other side together...

After the service, they had a ton of balloons that people wrote sweet messages on and then let them all go in the air. As Jeff always said no matter how bad it was

"Just another day in paradise!"

Jeff and Cindy's daughter Brooke writing a message to her daddy!

Our sweet Justin letting off a balloon for Uncle Jeff!

His amazing wife Cindy

My awesome Mother and Father in law, Sally and Bruce All of the balloons being let go...

Josh with his brother Jeremy at the luncheon afterwards

Me and Britany (jeremy's wife) sporting our similar suite outfits which was totally unplanned, we must have good taste :)

the day after Jeffs funeral we were so blessed to be there for Josh's sisters sealing at the Oquirrh mountain temple. In this picture from left to right is Traci (joshs sister) Cindy (jeffs wife) Jeremy and Britany, Josh and I, Bill and Tiffany with their daughter Madison and Josh's parents Sally and Bruce. This was an amazing experience, as we were waiting to go back to our session, the temple worker came to Josh and I with tears in his eyes saying he felt the spirit strongly that day that we should be the witness couple. I instantly teared up as well and we said yes of course, we knew Jeff was there that day :) We were so very thankful that we could be here to see Bill and Tiffany and Madison sealed to be an eternal family!! What a blessing to know that this life doesn't end here on earth but is just a beginning to an eternity!

Outside the temple

While we were in Utah, it was Wade's 2nd birthday. We did the usual cake and ice cream and the whole family went to an awesome place called Planet Play, Wade had SO much fun there, he LOVED the go carts, I think that was his favorite, so the next set of pictures are from his birthday party bash!

He loved the cars, he giggled the whole entire race and clapped his hands

Both boys loved this vibrating race car game thing...

Daniel showing off his style with his girl cousins Brooke and Oakley.. I sure do love my Wadester!

He had fun opening presents and making noise with them

He loved his cake and making a mess with that! he loves textures in his hands...

Josh's brother Jeremy and his wife have a bunch of animals, they have horses, pigs, chickens and bunnies, we got to go over to their house to let the kids play around, our family loves farm animals and Natilie and I LOVE horses, we are total cowgirl when it comes to that and hope that we get to have our own horse someday :)

Wade absolutely loved the animals and he loves the outdoors, but he was really mesmirized by the horses, it was so cute to watch, he connected with them instantly and could have just sat on the horses all day. Then I found out from my sister in law and mother in law (who is a special needs teacher) that there have been some studies done that horses are great for Autistic kids, and that there is even horse camps for Autistic kids to go to which I had never heard before but I could totally see it with Wade. Just another reason that I can use to talk Josh into letting me get my horse ;)

Natilie is like me and obsessed with horses, she is my naturel cowgirl

It was so so windy that day...

These last few pictures were from our last dinner with the family before we headed back to Ohio. It was at Asian Star, which is our favorite restaraunt ever..it is so so yummy. We are so very grateful that we had this time with our family and we miss them so very much being so far away from them. We love you Anderson Family!!