This post doesn't include any pictures but rather a re-cap of our cute little man Wade. I am OFTEN asked about Wade by friends and strangers of either "whats wrong with him", "why doesn't he talk", "has he been to doctors", "what was it that made you notice that something could be wrong with him", and the list goes on, which I don't mind at all that people ask me, it just gives me an opportunity to share my experience or knowledge about Autism. But I was thinking this morning about all of these questions and what could I do to try to help others understand and I decided that a blog post could be a start. This is going to be an informational/hopefully question-answering post to all of those who wonder about our Wade with his Autism. First I think people need to understand what Autism is.
There is a HUGE spectrum for Autism Disorders and different types such as Autistic Disorder, Asperger syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Disorder and all of these can be at varying degrees.
Autism Spectrum Disorders are a group of brain based disorders that affect a childs behavior, social and communication skills. there are differences in each of these 3 ares. Some of those differences may be
Social:
doesn't snuggle when picked up, arches back
doesn't keep eye contact or makes very little eye contact
doesn't respond to parents smile or facial expressions
doesn't look at objects or events to get parents to look at them
doesn't bring objects to show to parents just to share his interest
doesn't often have appropriate facial expressions
unable to perceive what others might be thinking or feeling by looking at their facial expressions
doesn't show concern for others
unable to make friends
Communication:
doesn't say single words by 15 months or 2 word phrases by 24 months
repeats exactly what others say without understanding its meaning
doesn't respond to name being called, but does respond to other sounds
often doesn't seem to want to communicate
doesn't start or can't continue a conversation
refers to self as "you" and others as "I"
doesn't use toys or other objects to represent people or real life in pretend play
may have a good rote memory for numbers, songs etc...
loses language milestones usually between 15 and 24 months in a few children (regression)
Behavioral:
Rocks, spins, sways, twirls fingers, flaps hands (stereotypic behavior)
likes routines, order and rituals
obsessed with a few activities, doing them repeatedly during the day
plays with parts of toys instead of the whole toy (example spinning the wheels on a truck)
may have splinter skills, such as the ability to read at an early age but often without understanding what it means
doesn't cry if in pain or seem to have ANY FEAR
may be very sensitive at all to smells, sounds, lights, texture and touch
unusual use of vision or gaze-looks at objects from unusual angles
may have unusual or intense by narrow interests.
Now some of these things can be normal for a typical child, but together all of them make up concerns for Autism. Wade never seemed typical from the time he was born, he has never slept through the night since the time he came out of my womb and I know a lot of parents don't get sleep period with having babies, but Wade literally would not sleep at all and would cry most hours of the night despite everything we were trying to calm him. Even as a newborn he would cry nonstop and just got worse and worse as he got older. Wade was either a very smiley or cried nonstop, he had numerous eating problems, unexplained high fevers as a newbie, allergies, he would smile, but was never a verbal/interactive baby with us or others etc...we still never got too concerned, we just thought maybe it was his personality and he was just one of those hard baby's. When Wade turned 1, the sleeping got worse, he regressed with being vocal (which he would barely make sounds as it was but now it all stopped), would just scream at random times, didn't want us to physically hold him and would arch his back, he would have staring spells, he would not respond to his name at all no matter how loud we yelled it (we actually thought he was maybe deaf) he would repeatedly shake his head back and forth vigorously and flap his arms constantly like a bird, jumped nonstop vigorously, has NO sense of danger whatsoever, he couldn't understand us/words, could not repeat or mimic things, he would not look at us in the face, did not want us kissing or hugging him, did not want to be around other people, large groups or actually play with anyone else and would not sit down to play with toys appropriately, he has huge sensory issues oral and deep pressure. It was like he was in his own little world. We have a few children that we know at church and school that have different forms of Autism and I think some people get confused because when they see Wade for short periods of time they think he does not seem as bad as those few other kids, or he doesn't have any physical impairment so he must be fine. Some of those other kids have other medical problems along with the Autism or have a different type of Autism which is why I think they may seem worse and again there is a huge spectrum. Wade has been seen regularly by his pediatrician, neurologist, developmental pediatrician, Intervention Specialist Evaluation team, and he has been tested for everything under the sun, literally $10,000.00 dollars worth of blood work (thank goodness we had insurance), EEG, Sedated MRI, ADOS test, Speech and hearing, etc...we have been going through all of this for the last year and they have not found anything medically wrong with him but under the DIAGNOSTIC AND STATISTICAL MANUAL OF MENTAL DISORDERS, Wade does or has done all of those things on that list but 2, so therefore medical professionals have diagnosed him with Autistic Disorder. At first I didn't want to accept it, I didn't want there to be anything wrong with my child, he is just a normal 2 year old going through some phase, and wanted a second opinion, which we got and it was again confirmed. Deep down Josh and I knew he was different from the other kids and had to just accept the fact and start therapy early. Children and Adults who have an Autistic Disorder are often times labeled as high functioning, which is why it is so very important to realize it early and start interventions early so it may help improve the quality of their life sooner. We can already tell with getting him outside help, being diligent and persistently working with him at home in combination with medicine we can already see areas of improvement. I did not know anything about Autism, this is a whole new ball game for me and has lead me to doing tons of research so I can educate myself on this disorder and know how to better help my child. He is on a new medicine now for sleep that at first helped him then his body got used to the med's so they just upped the dose this last week so it seems to be working at the moment and even helps calm him some in the mornings, if this wears off then they will have to try a new one but we are hoping we are good for a while. He has also started his therapies with his own Intervention Specialist at the Family Child Learning Center and will go there once a week. They will teach him self help skills, speech, ot, and physical therapy, and they will also help him with the behavioral and social problems, we are super excited about this program! It has been very hard especially with having 4 other kids and there are days where I often want to break down and just crawl into a hole and cry because I am sleep deprived, or he has thrown tantrums all day, screamed for long periods of time (this is worse later on in the day) or I just want him to be able to give mommy a kiss and say just one word to me, but this is the path the lord as put in our lives and I am grateful everyday that he sent Wade to our family. I really needed him in our life, he has helped our family grow closer, made us more understanding, aware, more patient and kind, and has made Josh and I better parents. Autism is still not understood by many people and I think that some often think its just another made up thing, but it is real, the good thing is there is so much help and support out there in the community. I hope this post can answer any questions that you may have or just help to better inform you of the disorder. There is really so much more information I want to share but this is long enough already, but if any of you have questions please feel free to contact me any time! Here are a few websites that are very helpful:
http://www.autismspeaks.org/
www.nationwidechildrens.org/autism
http://www.templegrandin.com/ (this is an excellent new release movie based on a true story and is currently at redbox to rent if anyone is interested)
We will continue to do the best we can to help Wade through out his life and we just want him to know how much we love him and we will never give up!
7 comments:
This is good and very informative! A lot of people don't understand or know very little about Autism, and from immediate observation of physical appearance Wade "looks" normal, so sometimes people may jump to conclusions...usually the wrong ones. I'm glad you shared.
I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you guys are doing the best you can for Wade, and that Heavenly Father must think you are very capable parents to send such a special spirit your way. Hang in there!
love it, love it, love it! I wish you would have kept writing! I want to know everything. I wish it got easier too. Now just keep him quiet in church, would ya?
ha ha. You guys are amazing and someday there will be a ginormous payoff...at least there better be for you...you're doing amazing.
Great post. Jacob falls under the diagnostic category of Pervasive Developmental Disorders. I have my own thoughts about this and will refrain from commenting . Information is key! Keep it up.
Thanks for sharing. It's so great that you've taken the initiative in getting help early for Wade. He's so blessed to have parents who love and card for him so much. I can't even imagine what it must be like. You are a supermom!
I love Wade! I really wish I was there right now so I could give you a big hug and maybe a little night out on the town. You are such an amazing person and I want to thank you for being such a good example to me. You are so strong! I know the Lord loves you and will give you the strength you need work with Wade. I miss you tons and I can't wait to see you in the summer! Love ya tons!
You are such an awesome mom!!! I am always so impressed with how you handle all you having going on with such grace and love. You are so strong and such an example to me- thanks!!!
SO informative, Jenn! Thanks for sharing! I think you are great, your little ones are so lucky to have you as a mom!
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